Why are Penguins good at pinball?
Because they have two extra flippers.
Why don’t penguins get married?
Because they have cold feet.
What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?
What do you call a penguin in Wales?
Why don’t polar bears eat penguins?
They can’t get the wrapper off.
What is a penguin’s main defence against polar bears?
They are poles apart.
What bird is black and white, lives in the snow and is made of concrete?
What about the concrete?
I put that in to make it harder.
What is black and white and red all over?
A blushing penguin.
A men went to the doctor with a penguin on his head.
The man’s name was Cliff.
The doctor said, “Wow! You really do need help!”
“That’s right doc!” cried the penguin “I can’t get this guy out from under me!”
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why is a penguin like a duck?
They are both yellow; except for the penguin.
Why are there no penguins at the local zoo?
They can’t afford the admission.
What is the difference between a post box and a penguin?
If you don’t know then I’m not sending you to post my letters.
How do you know that penguins are more intelligent than chickens?
You don’t get Kentucky Fried Penguin.