The Glass is Half… Part II

Part I is at https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/the-glass-is-half/  

The pessimist says that the glass is half-empty. 

The optomist says that the glass is half-full.

The smart-alec says that the glass is half-full if you are filing it, but half-empty if you are emptying it.

The depressive says that the glass is half empty; and that even what is left is slowly evaporating.

The extreme optomist says that the glass is full: half full of liquid, half full of air.

The idiot asks, “Half full? Bottom or top half?”.

Oliver asks, “Please, sir, can I have some more?”

The paranoid makes you taste it first.

The ultra-paranoid makes you taste it first, then wipes the rim.

The entrepreneur sells novelty beer mats that weighs the glass, and then emails the bar-tender when there is less than 50% remaining.

My enemy claims that the glass is his.

This is getting tedious. Surely you must have some better ones? Your comments are welcome.

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