The Glass is Half…

The pessimist says that his glass is half empty.

The optomist says that his glass is half full.

The realist just gets on and drinks the contents of the glass.

The surrealist says that he’s a daffodil.

The junior engineer says that his cylindrical receptical contains approximately 50% of its total capacity.

The senior engineer says that his cylindrical receptacle has been over-specified by 50%.

The master engineer says that the glass has adequate reserve capacity.

The environmentalist measures the toxicity of the glass’ contents, and then campaigns for cleaner glasses.

The mathematician calculates that given n identical glasses each containing y litres of liquid, each weighing p grammes…

The nursery school teacher tells the class to use a plastic beaker, because glass can break easily.

The primary school teacher explains to the class all about the water, and the wondrous journey it takes to reach our glasses.

The secondary school teacher explains to the class all about glass, its chemical and physical properties.

The college professor explains all about business models, and how people make money making glasses and providing water.

The university professor doesn’t explain anything, but refers his class to a series of erudite journal articles on water and glass (none of whic are actually held in the university library).

The university student asks, “is this on the exam?”

The computer programmer would have proffered a coffee.

The physicist observes the glass and infers the refractive index of the liquid.

The philosopher questions the existence of the glass and its contents.

The zen novice meditates on the meaning of the glass and its contents.

The zen monk meditates on the meaning of the meaning of the glass and its contents.

The zen master meditates on the meaning of no glass and no contents.

The great zen master says ‘mu’.

The anthropologist ponders the monks and their meaning.

The antique dealer gets his feet wet examining the bottom of the glass.

Me – I say whatever it is, mine’s a double.

Funny? Silly? Got some of your own? Comments are welcome here!

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One Response to The Glass is Half…

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